Selling and buying don’t have to be opposing forces
Selling is the act of providing goods or services for money. Meanwhile, buying is the act of procuring goods or services for money.
Simple, right? They sound similar, and ideally are similar. They're interdependent, yet they manifest themselves in different ways, and somehow they usually end up being contentious. The process of selling often creates a back-and-forth communication of points and counterpoints, with sellers extracting cautious agreements and buyers feeling as if they have to defend themselves from making bad decisions.
This frequent conflict between selling or buying is the tyranny of the word “or.” When selling and buying are contrasted with “or,” it immediately creates a chasm between the two practices. There's the selling process. There's the buying process, and never the twain shall meet.
Sales training programs are predominantly to blame for creating this chasm. For decades, the practice of selling, as taught in many sales workshops, has defined it as a process to overcome objections and control the selling conversation. Many salespeople are told to:
• Control the steps from building rapport to closing. Establish up front with the prospect how the sales process should proceed.
• Qualify early on that there's a good fit between what the prospect needs and what the product delivers. Early in the process, have the prospect share all he or she is going through so that the salesperson can determine if there's alignment between the two sides before they invest too much time or effort.
• Ensure that the prospect can afford the product and is ready to make a decision. Get commitments early on regarding budget and resources.
• And finally, get signals early that the prospect will buy. Check that the prospect agrees, using the “if, then” scenario: “If I can solve your problem, then will you buy my product?”
This approach is understandable. After all, fielding a sales force is an investment. The return on that investment ultimately determines the company's success or failure. If sales are not where they need to be, the company closes its doors. Therefore, control the process in order to maximize the return. (Interestingly, the returns on this type of selling approach are not that great. Sales-funnel conversions of prospects to customers are typically less than 10 percent.)
The other side
Buying, on the other hand, involves reaching a value-based decision on something in the context of needs, challenges or goals. The buyer's perspective has nothing to do with the seller's approach. A buyer is only concerned about their situation, their challenges or their needs. Frankly, they don't care what the seller's time frames are, nor do they care what process the seller wants to use.
No one likes to be sold to, so buyers naturally put up defenses as soon as “selling” starts to take place.
And here's the ultimate reality: The buyer is in control regardless of what the seller wants or tries to do. Why? Because the buyer has the gold, and he who has the gold writes the rules.
Bringing them together
But there's a better way. Eliminate the “or.” Approach the exchange of goods and services for money as what it should be: an interdependent collaboration. A collaboration entails openness and honest communication. It entails empathy and authenticity. Most importantly, it requires trust.
Trust is the goal. It opens up opportunities because both parties are aligned. Trust has nothing to do with selling or buying; it's a judgment based on the strength of a relationship with someone else.
When trust exists, one doesn't have to sell. Instead, there is conversation, discussion, exploration. Salespeople don't have to convince prospects. Prospects convince themselves because they trust what has occurred. Then, close rates climb well above 10 percent.
Throw away the outdated concept of selling something to someone. Eliminate the idea of controlling a sales process, closing prospects along the way with artificial “if, then” agreements. Put the focus where it should be: developing a relationship and trust. When that occurs, both parties collaborate, working together to reach a conclusion that makes sense today, and for the long term.
Ken Cook is co-founder of How to Who and co-author of How to WHO: Selling Personified, a book and program on building business through relationships. Learn more at www.howtowho.com.
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