Magic words that grow sales: know, like, trust
Cook
The phrase “People do business with people they know, like and trust” is one of the underpinnings of how deals occur. Lately though, the phrase seems to be uttered almost every time someone talks about marketing or sales. It has become more of a cliché, without substance or the gravitas to be an underpinning. How do you get someone to know, like and trust you?
To get to know someone is all about getting to know the person. It's not about learning what the person does, such as capabilities, products and services. What a person does in their career and profession is a reflection of who they are. Learning about who they are involves the passion and motivation behind the career selection.
Work to go deeper
When you meet someone, explore why they do what they do. For example, “That's an interesting profession; why did you choose it?” Or, “Tell me more about how you got into doing what you do.” It's also an opportunity to share your passions and motivations. The other person gets to know you and what makes you tick, hence addressing the first part of the statement: getting to know you.
In order to like someone, you need to feel a connection. The connection is based on emotion, which requires opening oneself up through, for example, empathy and transparency.
We become increasingly open with one another through empathy. It means we focus to understand someone from their point of view, what is known as affective empathy. Sensing what others think is known as cognitive empathy. People who build strong relationships use both. And empathy is the dominant means of understanding.
People are usually not prone to verbalizing how they feel, but we're gifted with empathy, so we sense a lot. Word, tone and non-verbal cues are the human means of communicating. Empathy flows predominantly through the tones and non-verbal cues. Affective empathy is very valuable in business, because being emotionally open through verbal communication is not normal operating procedure.
Transparency is about being open, which comes more naturally to some than others. Being open requires you to trust in yourself enough to reduce your natural defensiveness.
Transparency also makes it easy for others to understand why we do what we do or say the things we say. When others understand our motivation —what's behind what we're saying — they can relax. Their focus is on what we're saying rather than holding an inner-voice conversation, trying to figure out where we're coming from.
As knowing someone and liking someone develops, so does trust. Trust is a function of expertise, quality communications and time, factored by another's perception of risk.
Trust is elusive; we don't control it. It's a shared experience. The receiver needs to feel safe; the sender needs to be effective and clear. Perceived risk is the key variable in the equation, and it's the variable most out of our control. What's critical here is to recognize that the risk is in the perception of the person extending trust.
A good indicator of risk is anxiety. The absence of risk — for example, feeling safe — manifests itself in low anxiety, which encourages action. Substantiating our expertise and using quality communication skills can help reduce risk and alleviate anxiety.
Recipe for stress?
Risk is not just for the customer. People in sales or business development experience plenty of anxiety. We're frequently wrapped up in the need to close the deal, make quota, satisfy a boss or become a star, for example.
Most salespeople have relationships with customers, but unfortunately, many of those are surface-level relationships. They know each other, probably some of their mutual likes and dislikes, and the relationship has the opportunity to mature over time.
Blend surface-level relationships with salespeople's anxieties. Now add the traditional sales process, and risk and anxiety are increased further. The prescribed process of needs analysis, definition of need or pain point, development of solution, delivery of solution, overcoming objections, closing, overcoming objections, closing, etc., until the customer says either yes or no is rife with anxiety and confrontation.
This focus on the sales process, by its very nature, increases anxiety for both parties. The result is an anxious discussion focused primarily on the business application and solution. The connection with the customer loses its rightful priority. Although the intent is to help the customer, the effect may be increased anxiety.
Ask yourself a critical question: Is your relationship strong enough for the customer to trust you through the moments of greatest anxiety?
You can answer “yes” when you demonstrate a consistent focus on the customer, your relationship with them, and building trust. Build the foundation for “know, like and trust.” When that happens, competitors fall by the wayside.
Ken Cook is managing director of Peer to Peer Advisors and co-author of How to WHO: Selling Personified. Learn more at www.howtowho.com.
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