Giving, receiving gifts raises ethical issues
When December rolls around, we know it's time for the office potluck, perhaps a companywide holiday party or some free goodies to start rolling in from various clients and vendors.
While it's one thing to accept a tin of cookies from someone you've done business with, what would you say if this person offered you a couple of Super Bowl tickets?
If you think barely a heartbeat would pass before you'd snatch those tickets up in your hot little hands, you may want to think again. Specifically: What kind of message are you sending about yourself, and your employer, to accept such an extravagant gift?
Sure, it's true that very few of us have the chance to be offered Super Bowl tickets, but it's also true that many workers can be offered gifts this time of year that might put them in a bad position with their bosses, while at the same time compromising their professional and personal integrity, says Dov Seidman, who often advises companies on such issues.
"In today's fast, quick, bottom-line world, most people are focused on outperforming the competition," Seidman says. "But instead, they need to start outbehaving other people. They need to think about who they are, and how they do business."
Seidman, founder of Los Angeles-based LRN, a company that focuses on helping managers and employees behave ethically, points out that accepting gifts that are over the top, or ones that may force you to move your personal integrity meter in the wrong direction, may eventually come back to seriously harm your career.
"In this hyper-connected, hyper-transparent world, if questions are raised (about ethics), they are much more likely to see the light of day," he says. "In many ways, we're a reality TV, surveillance society and nothing stays hidden."
Giving also raises ethical questions.
Seidman says that while there is "nothing intrinsically wrong with giving a gift," employees and employers need to focus on the intent of the gift. For example, a gift should be something that deepens a connection, something that is meaningful and "isn't meant to take advantage of, or influence," another person, he says.
"Also, the gift-giving should be consistent. There shouldn't be a differentiation among what you give," he says. "Remember that your consistency becomes the currency of your success in how you do anything, including giving a gift." (To join the blog discussion on gift-giving, check out www.anitabruzzese.com).
Some things to consider:
- Focus on what should you give and what should you receive, not what can you give and what can you get.
- Give a gift that a person could afford on his or her own. At the same time, only accept gifts that you could afford yourself.
- Trust your gut. "Ask yourself: If I accept a gift, would I be able to remain impartial about this person or company? Would I continue to be fair or would I treat them differently? Is this gift relevant to our relationship?" Seidman says.
- Don't be insulting. Treat every offer of a gift in good faith. At the same time, be gracious when declining or accepting it under certain rules: "Please understand, based on my (or company's) values, I can't accept this for myself," Seidman advises. Tell them you'll put the lavish gift basket in a common area for everyone at work to enjoy, or you'll hold a raffle for the Super Bowl tickets.
- Move an inch and you'll be miles from home in no time. "If you're truly acting on a set of value and principles, then it's often inconvenient," Seidman says. "But it's a matter of moving in increments. If you move your values a bit at a time, you create a situation where after some time, you're miles away from home."
- A gift is the symbol of your authenticity. "It's an inner window to your values and how you do business. Money is a magnifying glass about who you are and what you're about."
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