What Does The Future Hold In 2009?
WBJ is saying its goodbyes to 2008 and we’ll remember it as a year of uncertainty and extremes. We witnessed businesses of all kinds taking the brunt of the economic blow the country’s financial system dished out. We also watched as some businesses recognized and seized fantastic opportunities presented to them by the economic meltdown.
Here, we have our predictions for Central Massachusetts in the coming year. A few of them could come to pass, but most are simply fanciful.
Land Grab
Genzyme Corp. announces a plan to expand by 3 trillion square feet and rename Framingham Genzymeham. Town residents seem open to the idea as long as the company promises to fix traffic problems caused by the railroad crossing downtown. “C’est la vie,” says the town’s new mayor and CEO, Henri Termeer.
Financial Device
Boston Scientific Corp. makes public a product it intended only for itself: The balance sheet stent. It’s designed to improve cash flow to the revenue and income portions of a company’s financial reports. Biotech and life sciences companies all over the world clamor for the new stent. But Boston Scientific warns that a company should see an accountant right away if it notices sudden increases in corporate taxes.
Trained Tracks
The state and CSX finally hammer out all their insurance liability-related differences and commuter rail service between Worcester and Boston becomes so frequent and efficient that the train can make the trip in 30 minutes. Worcester leaves Providence in the dust and rivals Boston for the title of largest city in New England. As a result, demand for housing in Worcester becomes so great that buyers and renters find it difficult to afford, and begin looking toward Springfield.
Double Down
In a bid to revive the state economy, Gov. Deval Patrick issues an executive order for Framingham-based Perini Corp. to build three full-scale casinos in Massachusetts in six months. Perini finishes the job in five. The company promotes Chairman and CEO Ron Tutor to “the King.” Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun casinos in Connecticut lose all their casino business and convert into retirement communities for laid off Wall Street executives.
Medical Emergency
As the overall economy declines, health care becomes one of the only growth industries for Central Massachusetts. At the same time, the Bay State’s aging population demands more and more health services leading to an acute shortage of doctors. To cope, UMass Medical School in Worcester starts handing out medical degrees to anyone who can pass an anatomy test that includes one question: Can you identify your funny bone?
Performance Anxiety
In a search for local talent, the Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts commissions a performance of a new work entitled “A Taxing Place to Live and Work” starring the Worcester City Council. Bitten by the theater bug and after finally sorting out which councilors get what proportion of the show’s ticket revenue, the council heeds its calling and runs away to join the circus.
Where Rubber Meets The Road
In order to buoy the economy, both the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and the United States pump trillions into infrastructure improvements. Once every highway in the state has been paved twice, MassHighway runs out of roads and begins paving the hallways within state university dorms.
Okay, most of our predictions probably won’t come true. But it’s fun to dream. Here’s to an uneventful — and dare we say profitable — 2009!
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