🔒Speaking my mind & standing my ground: My evolution as a boss

Just as much as our businesses evolve over the years, we evolve as bosses. I remember the first days of my business, trying to figure it all out. I certainly had no idea what it was like to be the boss of someone else. I knew what it was like to be a leader, having been the vice president of my class and the captain of my high school basketball team. But a boss? Not so much.

It took me years to even process what a boss was. I was only 23 when I opened The Queen’s Cups, and while I had bosses before this journey, they were always people I knew. I was never handed a book with ins and outs, and like everything else in my business, I learned from scratch. Everyone I hired in the beginning were people I knew: family, friends, and girls I coached in basketball. As The Queen’s Cups got busier, I still defaulted to people I knew. But when we moved to Worcester, I began to hire newbies.

I’ve mentioned before the difficult transition from family member and friend to boss. People who know us best hold on to an image of us in their heads; and it is hard, on both sides, for things to change. Change brings resistance. I have worked on becoming self-aware, awakened to my strengths and weaknesses, and I do not shy away from difficult experiences, in order to better myself and my business. But I know this is not the norm. I am not the person, or the boss, I was when I was 23 or 30, and all the years in between. That has been hard for people to understand.

We look at people in higher positions as people who should know it all. I’ve sat in on conversations with people who undermine their bosses, ridiculing their every move and vocalizing what they would do if they were in that position. I’ve heard the comments made by my own employees and have agonized over the opinions of others not in my position, placing an immense amount of self-doubt in my own brain for years. But when I am talking to my staff, I try to reiterate the fact I am a person just like them. So are their parents, teachers, and previous bosses. We all make mistakes, and we all deserve the right to make mistakes and fix them. We deserve the right to evolve into the people we want to be.

In years past, I did it all myself. If an employee would make something I didn’t like, I would stay after work and redo it myself, rather than letting them know. Up until recently, I always felt every conversation would turn into an altercation if I spoke my mind. I had a constant fear my employees would be mad at me, so I would cowardly shy away from conversation. I was fearful if I had to reprimand them, they would quit. This always caused me mega anxiety. But now, when someone does quit after being reprimanded, I know this was not the place for them.

Another motto of mine is, “See it, say it.” I no longer assume my employees know what I am talking about. I had to stop letting everything fester in my brain. I had to change my perspective, over and over. With 25 employees, something is always going on. With each experience, I try to learn from it and think about what I would do differently next time. Less and less, I take things personal; and more and more, I gain the control coming with being in charge.

I am here to say that if you are the boss, it is okay to evolve and change. With change there will always be a resistance, and in some cases, rebellion. It is important to look at ourselves and see what we can improve on, but it is okay to look at ourselves and stand our ground. If you work for someone else, maybe put yourself in their shoes when a decision is being made. Do not be afraid to talk to your boss. Always give a proper notice. Understanding is key, and if given the opportunity, you can always make your own decision.

Renée Diaz is the owner of The Queen’s Cups bakery in Worcester, who turned her hobby into a million-dollar business.