🔒I can be there when my daughter really needs me

Since writing my last piece “Small business struggles: Are we next?” I have received so many messages of solidarity from various business owners, readers of WBJ, and customers. It takes a lot to put yourself out there like that, and that was the repeated remark from everyone: “I could never put those things out there for everyone to read.”

But the truth is, maybe if more of us were honest about what we are going through, we would not see so many of our favorite businesses close. I felt a sense of freedom since releasing the feelings I had pent up for almost two years. Lighter, I might say. My words echoed in the minds of others going through the same thing, and it reminded them they are not alone.

When I have thought about what I would do if The Queen’s Cups closes, it is hard to imagine because it’s been my life since I was 23 years old. I have never had another job in my adult life, besides coaching basketball for Millbury High School. This business has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me. Over the years, the customers I have met, the charities I have been involved with, and the people I have employed have all been amazing additions in my life. Being able to work side by side with my father is a blessing I will carry with me forever, even when we get on each other’s nerves. This bakery has been my identity, and that is why making it work has been pertinent.

Owning a business has a sense of freedom I do not take for granted. That freedom has looked different over the years. Now being a parent, it has a new meaning.

My daughter just turned three years old in January. She is a beautiful, smart, and funny little girl who is called The Mayor at her preschool because she says, “Hi!” to everyone. Roslyn was diagnosed with childhood apraxia of speech. CAS is a rare neurological speech disorder that affects her motor planning. She knows what she wants to say, but by the time the message moves from her brain to her mouth, she has a hard time saying the words. To get to this diagnosis, we have spent the last year in and out of Boston Children’s Hospital ruling out other conditions, undergoing two sedated MRI tests, meeting with an audiologist, neurologist, and geneticist. We are now starting genetic testing and should have test results within the next six months. Beyond this, she is in speech therapy and occupational therapy.

When you make appointments with specialists, the waiting lists are long, and you are at the mercy of their schedules. When there is an opening, you take it. Her speech therapy is in the early afternoon multiple times a week. I would not be able to make her appointments without the freedom of being able to leave work by early afternoon or take the day off when necessary. I joke and say this is my part time job and I should have gone to school to be a speech language pathologist.

I don’t know what the future holds; but after writing my last piece and finally getting out the emotions I had been holding on to, I have had a clearer mind to reflect on the gifts I have been awarded by being a business owner: the customers who have become friends; the fact I met my husband this way; working with my family; employing mothers, athletes, college students, and high school kids with their first job; and being involved in charities.

But the most important thing has been being able to be there for my daughter, who does not have the voice to advocate for herself but has her mother by her side to navigate her through endless appointments and therapies. This is something I will look back on and be the most thankful for.

Renee Diaz is the owner of The Queen's Cups bakery in Worcester.