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December 1, 2016

Column: Finding the right therapist

Courtesy Mary Fierro is the vice president of Behavioral Health Services at Edward M. Kennedy Community Health Center.

Many of us have begun to think about our health more holistically and we now consider our mental and emotional state part of our overall health. In the past, we only considered factors like blood pressure, weight, cholesterol levels, or chronic conditions. Realizing our thoughts and our feelings influence our overall health, as well as give us clues about how healthy we really are, is a very important part of our self care.

When thoughts and feelings are frequently colored by the emotions we consider negative – worry, sadness, guilt, or hopelessness, for instance – there is much we can do to change. There’s a lot of helpful information available, online and in books and articles, and for some, information is all that’s needed to make a change. For many, though, making a change is easier when we involve another person, when we seek the services of a mental health therapist or counselor. Note that “Counselor” and “therapist” are words often used interchangeably, and both describe someone who has studied psychology or clinical social work and has obtained a professional license.

Starting the search

The first step is to find a therapist. If you know a family member, a friend, or a coworker who has worked with a therapist, ask for the therapist’s contact information. You can ask a primary care provider for a recommendation or referral. States or local counties often sponsor help lines that assist people in locating these resources, including mental health providers. Finally, health insurance plans list mental health providers and their areas of specialty, online or via telephone.

The second step is making and keeping an initial appointment with a therapist and the third step is deciding if it’s someone you can work with. If the therapist has a license to practice, they have the necessary knowledge and skills to help with mental and emotional problems. But a therapist’s style is also a very important part of treatment. All of us have preferences about the kind of person we most easily relate to – someone who mostly listens, or who can keep the conversation moving along; someone who provides facts and information, along with suggestions for a plan of action; or someone who focuses attention on feelings Any of these approaches is valid, but it’s natural to prefer some approaches over others.

Chemistry

How do you figure out whether a therapist is a good fit? By paying attention to your gut feelings: Does the person put you at ease, or does their style increase anxiety? Do you feel they’re listening? Do you get the sense that the therapist understands you, and what is going on with you? No one feels comfortable when talking about difficult or painful situations, but if the therapist’s style increases your nervousness, or you don’t feel “listened to” – that won’t help.

When I meet with new clients, the last question I ask them is, “do you feel I am someone you can work with on these issues?” This is the most important question to ask yourself as well, after you’ve met with a therapist. If the answer is “yes,” then keep working with that person. If the answer is “no,” try someone else. Remember: Don’t give up if you don’t find the right fit immediately; you deserve all the help you need.

Mary Fierro is the vice president of Behavioral Health Services at Edward M. Kennedy Community Health Center. She joined the staff as deputy director in 2005. She received a Master of Social Work degree from Rutgers Graduate School of Social Work, and a PhD from Temple University.

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