You create your company’s culture, so make it a good one

Being a boss changes you in so many ways. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. It challenges you to look at the negative aspects of your business and your team. Uncomfortable situations happen often. You have hard conversations with people you care about, even when you are not feeling up to it. And if you have an honest staff like I do, you are told about the things going wrong, not just what is going right. Unbeknownst to me, I did not realize I spent most of my life being unapproachable in my personal bubble and in my business career. I have always considered myself to be nice, genuine, honest and open minded. However, I have learned at times, I seem standoffish, blunt and guarded. Employees are more intimidated to talk to me than they have been with bosses in the past. My friends are afraid to tell me things out of fear I won’t be able to handle it. When it was brought to my attention, I knew being close minded, closed off, and intimidating was not going to work in the culture I am trying to create at The Queen’s Cups, or anywhere else in my life. So, I had to work on making changes. First, I had to really be willing to listen with intent, rather than half listen and wait for my time to speak. Secondly, I had to stop taking things personally. I cannot tell you how much time and energy I have back in my life because I let my guard down and realized not everyone who comes to me with a concern is out to get me. Third, I had to evaluate how to speak to people about hard situations. I am still learning this, as it really is difficult, but if I don’t try, I automatically stunt my business’ growth. Being passive aggressive was always part of my nature, almost as if it’s engraved in my DNA. It was much easier to text an employee, or completely ignore them, about a situation than wait and talk with them. I, of course, have to text employees now on occasion if I don’t get a chance to see them in person, but talking face-to-face is how I prefer to do business now. That way things don’t get lost in translation, and neither person assumes the other’s tone is negative. When we used to get complaints about employees, I would automatically accuse my employee of being in the wrong. Now, I realize it is much easier to give my employee a voice and ask what happened. If I feel we could have a better solution, we can work together on what to do next time. I see it and I say it, right away. Recently, I had two different situations with employees having issues with other employees. Nothing too major but all four people in the respective situations felt unheard, hurt, and a certain level of disrespect. In the past, I would listen to all sides (some sides more than others) and then have separate conversations with each person. This never worked. No one ever gets heard through a third party, tensions build and eventually combust. Instead, I listened to each person and how they felt, tried to offer insight, and then had them have conversations with each other. This way, everyone gets heard and at the end of the day, there always needed to be a level of respect. In the past, The Queen’s Cups has been so passive aggressive the air was so thick to even breath in. Looking back, easy solutions could have prevented this, and I realize how unfair this is to past and present employees. When it comes having conversations with my employees, I used to get myself completely worked up before the conversation even happened. Nerves are natural, but we can always control our attitude going into situations. I had a difficult time with that. I also can’t imagine how I made my employees feel by just my general energy. Now, I listen with intent and try to provide a comfortable space for both parties, so the nerves settle. If I don’t have an answer right away, I work to find solutions for problems within a reasonable amount of time. None of the things I discussed are possible unless we are willing to open our eyes, ears and hearts. No one wants to hear the bad things about themselves, especially when we have been blinded to the facts. But continuously trying to better myself has improved my life, my role as a boss, and The Queen’s Cups; and at the end of the day, that’s what makes it all worth it. Renee Diaz is the founder and owner of The Queen’s Cups bakery in Worcester, who turned her hobby into a million-dollar business.