🔒101: Rude emails

DEMANDS MADE IN ALL CAPS. Derogatory language. False accusations with colleagues cc’d. Rude work emails are unfortunately an issue most of us have faced at one time or another. Here are some things to know and ways to handle these unwelcome inbox invaders.

They perpetuate harm. Nasty emails are not always read and forgotten. “Research … found that impolite emails can have a negative effect on work responsibilities, productivity and is even linked to insomnia … Passive email rudeness may create problems for employees' sleep, which further puts them in a negative emotional state the next morning, thus creating a vicious cycle,” says Forbes’ Bryan Robinson. Constantly checking for a response to your reply just exacerbates the impact.

Have a response toolbox, suggests CareerContessa.com’s Caileen Kehayas Holden. This may include realizing responding to a rude email is not an emergency – though it may feel that way. Step away from the computer, take a deep breath, and respond later. “Keep your tone professional and solutions based,” she suggests. “Don’t meet the sender at their level.” Maybe have a three-strike rule before you attach past emails showing them where they were wrong. She recommends bcc’ing a trusted individual into an inflammatory exchange, such as a manager.

Call the sender out, but also own up to your own mistakes, says Anna Verasai of HR Digest. She suggests killing a rude emailer with kindness in a one-to-one email, even if the initial email was a group message, answering each point raised. “Start the email on the lines of, ‘Your email came across as a bit rude/harsh in tone. I’m not sure if that was intentional or not,’” she advises. “If you were in the wrong in any way, be sure to own up to it and apologize. For example, “I’m sorry that I missed your deadline. I’ve got a lot on my plate.’”